Can you carry me home? Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son. I'm finished with this witness, your honor! Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, well how did that happen? Clean up your room Edward. Laura: Steve, you like this kind of music? Okay, first question. Waldo: Thanks for helping me find the gym. 4 Mar. Harriette Winslow: [Takes an envelope from Carl] 'Lose Weight, Feel Great at Chicago's Premiere Health Spa, Hip Whippers'. Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? You've got twenty-four hours to drop out of the race or we publish the picture. And, my God, look what you've done to Waldo. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Uh no, Waldo, state your name. Laura Lee Winslow: You're lucky, you got into a great fraternity and all it cost you was your best friend. Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! Just as I thought. Carl: If that's the case then I plead guilty. Halawna, Oneisha: [pop up in the car Clarence stole] Surprise! I'm in big trouble! Laura and Judy, divide up the rest between Barbie doll fans and Lego lovers and get them upstairs too! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I feel so safe in Raoul's strong arms I love him soo much and I sorta like Carl. Carl Otis Winslow: March 24th, Raoul's houseboat is beautiful. [goes to the refrigerator] No root beer? Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Do you have any idea how much you changed him? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? Steve Urkel: Uh-oh. You need to get out more. Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. I could hear him sobbing in his suspension chamber. Harriette Winslow: Every time she stops, she starts all over again. Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. Steve Urkel: Oh, no buts! That wasn't a rock video. Stupid? I'll be in all the videos. Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. Let's call it recycling. Laura: Don't argue. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: When you're hurting other people it ain't harmless. You know that? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Aww that's cute. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, why can't you manage money like your brother, Steve? Weasel: Hey loosen up, Eduardo. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: L means lousy. Steve is the perfect son. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Steve, what happened? You're a fine man.You'll be spending the month of May in your room, but you're a fine young man. Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). And even then I knew it wasn't right. Hey, wait a minute. Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. Steve Urkel: Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night. Carl Otis Winslow: What did she have to say? What bright side, Weasel? But our little town only had ONE library, and it was for whites only. Steve Urkel: [runs back into the living room] Sorry Rachel! His parents were very upset. Harriette Winslow: What's wrong with that? Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! I won't be able to take you to the prom. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying. Steve Urkel: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon. You're my friend. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia. And we practiced for six minutes! Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. [Eddie agrees as Mother Winslow and Harriette walks out of the living room]. Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? White, known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom "Family Matters," is. Dadadadada! Steve Urkel: Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura. Carl: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! It better be a dead relative in your excuse. It is not empty at all. Rachel Crawford: When the paramedics got there, they thought SIXTY-SEVEN people had died! Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. Oh my God! [runs upstairs]. Money has germs on it. Carl Otis Winslow: Tomorrow. Steve Urkel: [Pointing to the floor] Him. If you have something to say, just spit it out. The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Do these guys have game? Raoul is the new produce manager. Carl Otis Winslow: All right. [Harriette laughs as Laura leaves the living room to help Mother Winslow get ready]. Rachel Crawford: Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30? What do you have to say for yourselves? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I mean every word, sweetheart. Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. You know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Got anything in the fridge? Harriette Winslow: So how're things back home? I can't! Carl Otis Winslow: Like that. Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything. Steve Urkel: Ready, my sweet? Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! Well it's not cool. Harriette Winslow: You were gone for three hours. Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. Harriette Winslow: Carl, you snuck into my card box and gave me a card that I already have. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. The nuptuals have developed a slight snafu. He's never used his! Have you taken leave of your senses? Actor Jaleel White, famous for his cultural touchstone role as Steve Urkel in Family Matters, is entering the cannabis industry.Through a partnership with 710 Labs, White's new cannabis line . Carl Otis Winslow: [fishing for the catch of a party Eddie wants to go to] Are his parents going to be there? Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. It's always tomorrow with that boy! 11 days ago. Gosh I bet that's never happened before. Eddie: I just did the laundry and I'm on my way out to wash the car and cut the grass. "Tomorrow, Dad!" Carl was his horse. Three times X equals six. Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Kanye West name-dropped "Family Matters" star Steve Urkel on his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy track, "Dark Fantasy." However, Ye originally thought a similar line rapped by T-Pain was "corny," the "Buy U A Drank" singer claims.. As reported by HipHopDX on Tuesday (Sept. 7), T-Pain says Ye stole the concept for the Urkel-referencing line after hearing a similar lyric on his . Harriette Winslow: She says OGD's a great kid, but he hasn't had it easy in his life. Harriette Winslow: Carl was nice enough to invite you into his game and you've been acting like a jackass. Can you believe that? Carl: [Urkel Voice] In the meantime, I have to break the news to Harriette. Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. [sees the kids] Oh my Lord! 5. Included in the potential "Did I Do That?" [Willie grabs Waldo and takes him with the cops who arrested them], [Steve has humiliated Willie at the party that he grabs a small glass of Vodka and pours it into Urkel's cup]. I can teach you how to cook. Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? [skips away from Stefan and Myra towards the elevator. Why would somebody do this to me?' Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [told he can't go to the party] You mean I was nice for nothing? What did you do? I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. You got the whole family off on the wrong foot. So one day I decided to do something about it. Eddo. Self respect. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? Harriette: Yep, they were yelling at each other and bumping bellies. Boyd Higgins: Name's Boyd Higgins, but ym friends call me Buck! There is no Steve here. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Can it be a 976 number? Snap, Sidekick: [with the Serpents] All the doo-dah day. This is my grandmother's wedding and $1500. Steve Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? They misspelled three words. Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? He's a very large man who should be here any minute now. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wrong, cummerbund breath. Stefan Urkelle: Well, it could be a few days, or weeks, or [Steve voice] any minute now! Then we par-tay, see no problem. Weasel: [Eddie leaves and Weasel gets hit by Waldo] What was that for? Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Who do you think bought his first pair of shoes? [to self] WOW! Carl: I am not. Calm down, easy. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. You have a lot of qualitites girls really go for. "Smile, if you want to have sex with me." 4. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? Who does these things? Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! Topics Nerd. Myra Monkhouse: Um, one plus one equals fun?

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